In These Moments
by r.m.t.b
Summary: Saffron Myler returns to Hogwarts with the darkest of secrets and is desperately hoping to find some normalcy during her final school year. Unfortunately, normality seems to be something out of her control and a scarred Gryffindor seems to be having a similar problem. Remus/OC. Marauders era.
1. Chapter 1

**In These Moments**

Saffron Myler returns to Hogwarts with the intention of focusing on her NEWTS, spending weekends in Hogsmeade and maybe even gate-crashing some parties with her friends. Even though she has the darkest of secrets, she's desperately hoping to find some normalcy during her final school year. Unfortunately, normality seems to be something out of her control – and a scarred Gryffindor seems to be having a similar problem. Marauders era.

Chapter 1.

"_Please! Please just leave us alone!"_

"_Get out of my way, brat!"_

"_I'm gonna kill you, you bitch!"_

"_No just stop! Please! You don't know what you're doin—"_

"_Crucio!"_

"_Stop, plea—"_

"_CRUCIO!"_

"_PLEASE STOP THIS! PLEASE LEAVE HER ALONE JUST STOP—"_

_There's a silver mist and leaves begin to fall. _

I hear the door knock loudly and feel my body shake as I wake up. Rolling over and off the bed, I get into my slippers, brush some tresses of long hair out of my eyes and for a second just stand there, utterly perplexed. It's been a while since I've had a nightmare that's made me sweat, so I trade the sweatshirt I slept in for a clean vest top before heading downstairs to open the door, inwardly cursing whoever is calling at this hour.

"_OPEN UUUUP SAFFF!"_

"Dear, Merlin." I grumble, a hand to my aching head as I try and push the bad dream far from my head. Removing the latch off the door with just the swish of my wrist, the front door opens and I'm greeted by a big, bright smile. I frown, grimly, and cross my arms in frustration.

"You do know that you are the worst best friend in the entire universe of the galaxy for waking me up at this time."

I'm stood at my door speaking to the girl I haven't seen in weeks after she left to fly off to Africa for the Summer. Elle is looking at me with an innocent expression, her skin a shade darker from the sun and her hair plaited into one long black braid that falls to her hips. She is also – unlike me – not wearing her pajamas. She's wearing an ivory sundress and flip-flops and looks like she's just returned from paradise – which, from her many owls, paradise she had been_ – _and there's a smug, smirk on her face displaying pure satisfaction at my lack of self-conduct having just woken up and clambered downstairs.

"First of all, I'm your _bestest _best friend," Elle began, ticking a list off her newly manicured fingers, "Second…you really are terrible at Astronomy. A galaxy is smaller than a universe, you dweeb…"

I clench my teeth as she continues, "And lastly…I've just gotten back after almost two months and that's the only thing you can say to me?!"

Elle's beaming attitude suddenly transforms into the inquisitive, ferocious one I'm so used to, and I can't help but grin because I really have missed her.

Then I remember that it's six in the morning, and suddenly I'm not as pleased.

"You look terrible, bad dream?" Elle questions, maternally. I flinch a little, thinking back to my nightmare, before swiftly avoiding the topic with an assuring smile which I force through my fatigue.

"It's six in the morning." I state, with crossed arms and furrowed brows. Elle blinks, unaffected, and I breathe easy as she starts talking about something else.

"Yeah, I know. I landed at four. I thought I'd come see you after I dropped off my suitcases and bring over my trunk." Elle responds, sharply. I narrow my eyes and grown – suddenly a rather large suitcase with various other bags attached to it crawls into my vision and I lean against the door-frame, suddenly chilly in just my shorts and vest top as a breeze goes by.

"Why did you bring your school stuff here? We go to the train station in like ten hours and I thought I was meeting you there?" I grumble, disliking the person before me who is somehow just full of energy at six o clock in the morning. I pinch my arm slightly to keep my eyes open and Elle huffs her usual sigh of exasperation.

"You don't remember do you?" Elle murmurs, with an eye roll after a long exhale, "We said we'd meet up the day we go back to school to get our stuff, remeeeeember?" She drawls out the last word while clicking her fingers in front of my face to keep me alert and I close my eyes slowly before allowing them to open and widen in a feeble attempt to remain awake.

"Oh." I reply, "Yeah. I remember that part now. I just don't remember the part where you land at four and decide to spread morning misery to me at _six." _I reply. Elle looks at her freshly painted nails, oblivious, and says nothing in response.

"You're full of negativity. You need to work on that, your aura's pulsing with it. Can I come in?" I give the girl a long, curious stare before replying.

"When did you learn to read auras? And yeah, come in but be quiet, my Dad's asleep still." I reply, awkwardly and tiredly shifting out the way, helping her pull in her trunk.

"Thanks," Elle mumbles, "I'll tell you in a bit, but first of all I need to talk to you about something severely serious."

"Being?" I reply. Elle gives me a long look-over before raising a brow. She'd managed to wedge her cases behind the shoe cabinet along with her flip-flops and handbags. Already making herself at home, she follows me into the lounge and flops onto the sofa instead of responding.

"Classy," I mutter, with a small smile, at her inelegant fall onto the sofa. "So what is so serious that it required you to sit down before explaining?"

"Your hair." She snaps, gesturing an accusing finger at my tangled, waist-length locks. I look down and then look into her hazel eyes, puzzled.

"What's wrong with it?" I ask, nonchalantly.

"It's _all_ just so damn _wrong!" _Elle complains, throwing a pillow at me which I dodge, my alert-self suddenly surfacing after such a tiring morning. I bite my lip and make a sour face.

"Again. What's wrong with it?" I repeat, in confusion.

"What _isn't_ wrong with it…?" Elle trails off, and I return the pillow to her with a laugh as it makes impact with her face. Hugging it to her chest and not retaliating, the pretty girl across from me grows serious as she looks me over again from where I'm stood against the wall.

"Too long, too lank, too _thick," _She lists, "You've lost some weight too. You need new clothes. We should go shopping."

"Firstly… I can't help my hair," I mumble, "Secondly, I haven't lost weight. You just want an excuse to shop."

"What ever do you take me for, a shopaholic?" Elle questions, dramatically. "No, you're right, you look normal sized…bit lengthier in the leg area though if I might say so, but normal. You _do_ need new clothes though, yours are all so old." I pray that my legs being longer isn't true - it's already hard enough finding trousers that fit my tall, thin stature as it is.

"I am most certainly _not_ taller. You are seeing things, my dear." I murmur, falling into a chair tiredly. "And my clothes aren't old. We went summer shopping before you left, remember?"

"Um, yeah, and it's _autumn_!" Elle snaps, "You can't wear summer fashion in autumn. It's just not right."

"I'm waiting till my birthday to shop for clothes, so no, we're not going shopping for outfits, just school stuff. What was that aura thing you were talking about then?" I change the subject smoothly, knowing if I don't that I'll be dragged off to the inner city at some luxury clothes store before I know it.

"Oh yeah, that! Well, when I went to Africa over summer I met this witch and she showed me this thing where if I concentrate real hard and absorb someone elses energy I can see their energy, their aura. It's like a surrounding layer of colour, the colour changing depending on the person's mood or personality." Elle responds, matter-of-factly with a white smile. I raise a brow, skeptically.

"So then you can basically read emotions now?" I ask. Elle nods. "That's pretty cool."

"What did you do while I was gone anyway? Shag your way through the Hogwarts top twenty?" Elle questions, seriously, before laughing. I laugh myself at the pure insanity of the idea – half the boys at school have more bad things to say about me than good.

"Nope. I got a job a book-shop, but after two-weeks my boss couldn't afford to keep paying me so he let me go. I saved up quite a bit though." I murmurs, fondly. Elle nods.

"How much did you get?" She asks.

"Like a hundred galleons. I mean, I spent some of it on books from this market in muggle London when I went with my Dad the other day but I had to get the galleons exchanged into pounds which cost and extra ten… but I still have about seventy left. I worked like eight hours for four days a week, so I got paid the minor's rate. He offered me a job for Christmas though, apparently that's when the money rolls in." I reply.

"Wait, your Dad took you to muggle London? That's a hard image to process, I mean he is a pureblood…" Elle murmurs. I shrug.

"He says muggles write interesting Literature and I agree. Anyway, I have some money left which is the main thing. I managed to stop myself after three hours of continuous book browsing." I add.

"So you have enough for a haircut then…" Elle drawls. I narrow my eyes.

"If it will shut you up, I'll try and get an emergency appointment for today." I respond. Elle gasps for joy.

"FINALLY! SHE LISTENS TO MY ADVICE! THERE REALLY IS A GOD!" Elle exclaims, looking at the ceiling with a hopeful expression. I sigh.

"We can go later, I guess it won't be more than twenty galleons." I grin, "I mean the manager was pretty nice giving me that much for just two weeks, I think most of it was out of guilt because he had to fire me."

"Where is it? The bookshop, I mean." Elle murmurs, suddenly questioning. I yawn.

"Hogsmeade. I had to travel by floo everyday, but it was the only place that would take me on. You know how the post-Hogwarts crowd snap up jobs in Diagon Alley quicker than flies." I reply, chuckling. Elle laughs.

"That's so true, because they've just got their NEWTS they think they're oh-so-bloody-accomplished! I'll probably be broke by Christmas if it carries on…oh well, at least I had enough money this summer to buy you a birthday present in the Africa! Shall I tell you what it is? Um…no, I don't think I shaaaall…" Elle sings the last part with a gleam in her eye. I shake my head.

"You can't tease me like that! You know I love presents." I grin.

"Babe, your birthday is two weeks away. I _think_ you'll live. By the way, were you okay earlier?" Elle murmurs. I blink, astounded, and feel my stomach get queasy. The girl is just so adamant.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I ask. Elle inspects me closely and then shrugs.

"You looked pretty shaken."

"You woke me up. It was six in the morning." I reply, bluntly.

"You're usually a morning person, though…" Elle murmurs, suspiciously.

"Yes, a _morning person. _As in eight or nine in the morning, not a _crack of dawn person. _Six o clock is just not cool!" I explain.

"YES I KNOW, I AM AWARE OF THAT NOW! You just looked so… pale. You didn't even hug me when you saw me…" Elle murmurs, mock-crying. I roll my eyes and lean over, giving the girl a tight hug until she screams for breath.

"There. Appeased?" I question, mockingly. Elle nods.

"Yes. So, what's for breakfast?" Elle grins.

"Oh, I see, so you waltz in here, you take away my final lye-in of the holidays and now you think I'm making you breakfast?" I question, hands on hips as I stand up. Elle just nods, batting her lashes with faux-innocence.

"Worst best friend _ever_." I groan, and stroll to the kitchen, trying to forget about my nightmare once and for all.

After about three cups of coffee, two mugs of mint tea and a hot-chocolate, Elle and I decide to 'take on the town' as she calls it and get everything for school. It took us about an hour to get dressed and so it's midday when we're about to leave – which is around the time I would usually wake up on the last day of the holidays – when my father stops me. Elle is outside waiting by the gate of my house. I look at my father who has freshly awoken and raise a brow.

"Hi Dad, sleep well?" I ask, throwing my canvas bag around my shoulder and slipping on my trainers.

"Yes thank you, sweetheart, although I was awoken by two lovely bickering voices at about eight." He laughs. My father looks far more like me than I like to admit, minus the stubble. His hair is long, chestnut-brown and curly. His eyebrows are dark and he has the same topaz-brown eyes as me, and his skin is only a little bit darker than my fair pigmentation. He has the kind of smile that can get him out of anything and a handshake firm enough to warn you not to mess with him. I grin warmly when I notice he's holding some wrapping paper.

"Haha, sorry. I forgot to tell you Elle was coming. Her plane landed at four so she just dropped her stuff off at home and then came straight here I guess. What's the wrapping paper for?" I say.

"The paper is for _someone's _birthday presents which she will not be given until her birthday." He grins, before continuing, "And you say your friend came off…a plane? Isn't that a muggle method of transport?" He murmurs, inquisitively. I nod.

"She's a muggle-born, Dad. I've told you this." I watch as he nods slowly, and it's clear I may have forgotten to mention it. "She's really nice. You met her at Christmas, remember?"

"Oh yes, I recall now. I'm just not very well acquainted with anyone or anything muggle-related, I suppose." He replies with a weak laugh. I furrow my brows.

"Mum's a half blood." I reply, crossing my arms.

"Yes but her mother passed before we met, she was the muggle on her side." My father explains.

"There's nothing wrong with that though is there? Elle being muggle-born?" I snap.

"Of course not darling, it's just well…you're a Slytherin. She can't be in your house, can she?" He asks.

"No," I mumble, "She's a Hufflepuff, but I prefer her to the girls in my house. They're all so stuck-up. I only like the guys." I add. My father gives me a quick hug and peck on the cheek.

"I'm not questioning your friendship with her, I'm actually glad you've chosen to be friends with her rather than those god forsaken death-eater groupies! Some of those Slytherin girls have even starting dropping out of school already to follow _you-know-who _just because their bloody boyfriends have!_" _My father explains, quietly. I laugh.

"Oh please, Elle could never be a death-eater anyway. She's terrible at keeping secrets." I reply, loudly enough for her to hear.

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" Elle calls from the gate, making me feel rather satisfied. I laugh and hold up a hand, telling her I'll be five minutes.

"I'm glad, she seems nice. Well then, have fun kiddo. You've not left the house all summer." My father says, slightly worried.

"Not true." I say, "I went out with mum that one time."

My father flinches slightly and looks me straight in the eye, a hand on my shoulder.

"Does…does Elle know?" He asks.

"About what happened? No. She knows I've been getting nightmares but I won't tell her what it's about. She's pretty squeamish when it comes to dark magic." I mutter, plainly. My father simply nods and removes his hand.

"I just worry what people would think if they knew. Try and keep it to yourself, okay?" He asks. I nod and give a forced grin.

"Here, take a couple of galleons for school stuff and try and find a tonic for those nightmares from the apothecary. Make sure you come home and see me before you head off to the train platform, how are you getting there anyway?" My dad questions. I think for a second before slipping the bag of galleons into my robes pocket.

"Ummm…well, Lily Evans said she could get her Dad to give us a lift with her to the platform if that's okay with you? She's coming by at four." I explain. My dad thinks it over in his head before giving a curt nod.

"Okay. Make sure you and Elle are home by three to get your trunks all packed and ready."

"I will. Bye Dad!" I call, leaving the house.

"Bye, love." He mutters, clearly unsurpassed.

I slam the door shut and look at Elle who is twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"What was that about? You looked all brooding and serious for a moment…" Elle murmurs, as I hold the gate handle.

"_Removere securitatem,_" I mumble the counter-curse for the house security and open the gate up for Elle and I before saying the curse backwards and re-sealing the spell.

"Nothing, he just wanted to see if you were in Slytherin." I mumble, as we walk out onto the pavement. Elle raises a brow.

"Why?" She asks.

"Well, my dad was a Slytherin but my mum was a Ravenclaw. My Dad fell in with the wrong crowd back at school but when he met my mum he put it all behind him. He just wants to make sure I don't make the same mistakes. He knows how horrible the Slytherins can be." I explain. Elle nods in understanding.

"Oh I see. Doesn't want you being tempted to go and join the darkside?" Elle mocks, giving me a playful nudge. I laugh.

"I'd end up tripping on you-know-who's cape or something. I'd be such a bad death-eater." I laugh.

"Haha, we both would! We were made for the _light!" _Elle exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. I burst out laughing at her sudden energetic outburst as we walk down the road through to Diagon Alley.

"I think it's so cool you live in the Wizarding World," Elle murmurs, thoughtfully, "I mean I have to spend most holidays in bloody muggle London and you get to venture into Diagon Alley whenever you bloody well like!"

"It gets really loud at night though - they serve Firewhiskey in the Ace of Clubs until five…" I complain, "How did you get here anyway if you came from the muggle realm? There's not many floo connections."

Elle gives me a lengthy, wide grin.

"Well, um…" She coughs, loudly, "I…might…have gotten a lift on Kent Wood's broom!" Elle exclaims, with a wink. I feel my eyes go wide. Kent Wood is the captain of the Hufflepuff Quiddich team as well as Elle's all-time crush.

"No way!" I exclaim, "How, when, who, what, where?" I question.

"His Mum's looking after magical birds in the Canaries and his Dad's a muggle so they had to get the plane there and back and I saw him in the airport when I got off my plane. Anyway, Dad took me and Kent to my house so I could get my trunk, and from my house Kent gave me a ride here since he lives down the road from you. Don't worry, we used an invisibility charm the whole way since there were a few muggles around. Aw it was great! Of all the people to give me a ride…and it was smexy _Wood_!" Elle lets out an endearing sigh of adoration as she recalls the memory and I chuckle at how she says all this in one whole breath.

"How do these things happen to you? I swear you were born with Felix Felicis running through your blood, lucky sod…" I murmur. Elle just laughs.

"He's _your _neighbour!" Elle complains.

"Yeah but he's never offered to give _me _a lift…"

We walk through Daigon Alley and slowly the money I've saved up starts to disappear with each step we take past the shops. Almond croissants and melted fudge Milkshakes from the Bakery, multi-coloured macaroons and sugar quills from the sweet shop, old back copies of Witch Weekly to last the train journey….

By the time we actually reach places we need supplies from, I'm thankful that my Dad slipped in that thirty galleons into my robe pocket. Suddenly though, I release my robe pocket feels lighter than it did earlier and I drop a couple of boxes on top of Elle's in worry.

"Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh _shiiiit_…" I groan in panic. Elle looks alert with shock.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"I think I might have dropped some money in that book-shop when we went to go get our Witch Weekly copies." I say, a little too fast, as the panic starts kicking in. Thankfully, we're by the side of the street so we're not in anyones way while I throw my arms around in search of my coins. Leaning against a shop wall, I drop my boxes by my feet and bite my lip with anxiety.

"Okay, calm down. Go back to Bookworms and just ask if they've seen the bag." Elle says, calmly. Always the voice of reason, I give her a look of deep thanks.

"Wait here, I'll be back in five…" I murmur, before sprinting through the streets and back to Bookworms.

"Hi there!" I say, suddenly full of energy, utterly unaware that I have barged through an entire queue.

"Hello." The young server says with lacklustre. "I'm sure I served you seconds ago?"

"Yes, you _did, _and I'm terribly sorry for barging in here like this but I, um, I…I left some money on the desk I think. Did you see anything?"

"_You mean this, Miss?"_

Suddenly, a new voice interrupts the situation and turning around swiftly I'm greeted with a pair of deep, golden-brown eyes. I blink in astonishment, noticing that the shabby but handsome boy before me is in fact holding the very velvet bag of coins I dropped earlier.

"O-Oh," I stammer, "Yes. Yes, that's it!" The boy gives a warm smile and I feel my cheeks heat up quickly.

"It was left by the fantasy section. You might want to be more careful - most people may not be as honest." The boy warns, informatively. I grin and nod, praying he hasn't notice the redness I feel flowing to my cheeks.

"I-I will!" I assure him, "Thank you, um…"

"Remus Lupin." He says, holding out a hand. I shake it and smile slightly. His hands are covered in ink, and so are mine, which he seems to pick up on and laughs.

"I'm Saffron Myler." I say, soundly.

"Nice to see you, Saffron. It looks like you've been writing lots over the summer," Remus murmurs, gesturing to the ink-stains on my skin. I let out a strain-laugh, nervously.

"So do you," I remark with a small smile, "I was working on some poems and stories over summer. Stupid stuff, I know…"

"It isn't stupid at all. But maybe I'm biased, I was writing a lot of stuff over summer, too. Essay practice, I guess." He murmurs, jovially. I chuckle.

"That explains the ink then," I grin, "I'm sorry but I haven't seen you before. Do you got to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, I do. I'm a Seventh Year," He says, "We had Ancient Runes together. You always had your arm in the air." I blush, suddenly remembering.

"Oh yeah, of course! You got top scores in your OWLS in fifth year, I saw your name on the results board." I remark, in recollection. "I'm so sorry, I'm a little disoriented today."

"It's fine, really. You're rather polite for a Slytherin though. I only know your house because your Slughorn's favourite. He was always referring to you in potions last year. Well, you and Snape that is." Remus explains. I feel my cheeks get redder and redder.

"Haha, yeah Slughorns proud of every single Slytherin, really," I murmur, "What house were you again?"

"Gryffindor." He says, with a grin.

OH.

That's why I never spoke to him…

"Um, I have to go meet my friend and I said I'd only be a short while. I suppose I'll be seeing you around school then, Remus."

"Well I hope so, Saffron. It was great seeing you." The boy murmurs with a warm smile, before gesturing to the bag of coins in my hands. "Try and keep hold of your possessions, for your own sake."

"I will do," I laugh weakly, "Goodbye."

When I make it outside, I am furious that destiny is such a cruel mistress. A chance meeting with a hot guy in a bookstore who likes to read and write and he's a bloody Gryffindork. I mean, muggle-borns are actually a lot nicer than my fellow classmates make out. But Gryffindors? Not so much…

"Urgh! These packages are so damn heavy!" Elle groans. I roll my eyes and take out my wand from the corner of my robe pocket.

"_Wingardium leviosa,_" I mumble, before slipping my wand away. The objects remain levitated while I focus on them, and after a few seconds they remain hovering in the air and I smile to myself. Elle looks utterly relieved.

"You're amazing, you do know that?" She asks.

"I _do_ know that." I smile, as the boxes follow us from behind while we carry on. I quickly place a securing charm on them so no-one can take them without being hexed and walk with Elle to Flourish and Blotts, wondering whether or not to tell her about my encounter with Remus Lupin.

Fortunately, to spare me the embarrassment of being quizzed on a guy, we suddenly run over to Flourish and Blotts before the first years start crowding the place.

By three o clock we are packed, prepped and ready.

By 'prepped' I mean that Elle managed to bargain with a very busy hairdresser down the road and get me a haircut. It took a good hour – what with all my thick, wavy masses – but he cut off about four inches, layered it and blended in the bangs I'd spent all summer growing out so my face was in full reveal. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I try and smile but somehow can't bring myself to. My skin is papery and pale. My dark eyes have even darker shadows beneath them and my dark, stern eyebrows make me look as dark-minded as my house leads me to be. The only colour in my face is my cheeks which are also red, and I bite my lips to make them a little plumper and pinker. I've never been pretty. I've always been…odd looking, I guess.. Too big eyes and too dark features and too pale skin. _Like a demented looking doll._ I sigh and exit the bathroom after running a bit of serum through my hair which now reaches just below my shoulders and is now wavier than ever at it's shorter length. Although I hate admitting it, the hairdresser did a fine job, and once again, Elle was _right._

Whilst dragging the trunks downstairs I groan as the door knocks.

"Daaaaad! Can you get the door?! Elle's making me pull both our trunks and I can't reach my wand!" I yell. Elle is downstairs in the living room talking to my Dad when they both leave the dining room and my Dad opens the door. Both mine and Elle's trunks plop to the ground near the hallway and I decide it's time to get my 'people-person' personality on to welcome Lily Evans.

"Hi Lily," Elle greets, hugging the girl. I'm not as close to her as Elle is so I keep my distance. I heard about her being horrible to Severus – a boy in my house I'm rather close to – and I'm not sure I want to hear her side.

"Hi." I murmur, as politely as I can, while Lily greets us.

"Hi guys! Good summer?" She asks, beaming. I look over the girl and try to refrain from rolling my eyes. She's the typical, stuck-up popular girl with the oh-so-proud parents. At least Remus seemed down-to-earth and polite, which I'm thankful for, but everyone knows that ever since Lily and James Potter started dating she went from brave to _bitchy._

"I'm great thanks, how are you Lily?" Elle murmurs. Instead of responding, Lily merely gestures to the Head Girl badge on her robes.

That bloody bitch…

"CONGRATS!" Elle beams.

"Um…yeah." I mutter, unable to congratulate her. How does she even know where I live? Oh yeah, Elle must have written to her.

"Thank you! As you can guess it certainly made my summer a good one! My mum is so proud!"

I think I might vomit. Where are my Slytherin hooligans when you need them? I really want her off my property.

"Well done! You totally earned it!" Elle grins, being as nice as ever and I resist the urge to snort.

"Oh yes she clearly earnt it. I mean, every single fucking year it's a Gryffindor and never a Slytherin because the school system is corrupt but yeah. _Well. Fucking. Earnt." - _that's what I feel like saying. Outwardly, however I say:  
"Well done, Lily."

I hate myself.

I hate Lily Evans.

I hate Gryffindors.

I hate that Remus Lupin got really hot over the summer and the only single Slytherin is Severus Snape.

I hate a lot right now.

I'm a bit unsure of what I hate more, though, out of the four…

"Um…thanks," Lily murmurs, uncertainly, "Who are you again?"

Yes. I definitely hate Lily Evans more.

I force a grin for Elle's sake, even though she knows I dislike Gryffindors and especially dislike the girlfriend of the Gryffindor Quiddich Captain/Seeker/Annoying-Little-Shit for ruining Severus' life.

"Saffron Myler. Elle's best friend." _Emphasis on the best. _"This is my house, actually. Believe it or not."

Releasing a little 'oh' from her lip-balmed lips, Lily flips her hair over her shoulder and I bite my lip to resist insulting her. You see, I'm not exactly a jealous person, I'm just an ambitious one. That's why I was put in Slytherin, I guess. I've always wanted to be Head Girl, and Proffesor Slughorn actually assured me that I had the best chance and well…he lied.

"I thought Proffesor Slughorn said that you would be receiving Head Girl, Saff." My Dad speaks up from beside the doorway, eyes narrowed and arms crossed. Thankfully, Lily can't see his clenched fists but she can hear his voice.

"Oh me too! That's why I was so shocked! I mean it's usually you who gets everything Myler so I couldn't believe it, quite honestly." Lily responds. I know she's making a dig at me, and I can see my father roll his eyes but I remain firmly polite.

"I'm still a prefect so that's good enough for me." My father laughs knowingly to himself from behind the door and I glare at him. Having been an academically competitive Slytherin himself once, my father knows I never settle for second-best. But right now I had to. Because Slughorn is a liar and has most probably been brainwashed by Dumbledore.

"Okay then. I'll take the trunks to the car with Elle so you can say your goodbyes. Come on, Elle." Lily says. I feel like reminding the new Head Girl that Elle is a human, not a dog, but they're already taking away the trunks.

"Darling, it's not your fault you didn't get Head Girl. Everyone knows Dumbledore forces the Heads of Houses to agree on Gryffindors." My Dad explains.

"Maybe my OWLS weren't good enough." I murmur.

"Saffron, you got eight O's and three A's." My father says, incredulously. I bite my lip.

"…Lily got all O's." I mutter. My father wraps me in a hug and kisses me forehead.

"You'll be fine," He says, "Gives you more of an excuse to hex some Gryffindors though, right?" I smile slightly.

"It's not just that. Lily Evans is the girl who ruined Severus' life. You know the boy who helped me pass potions?" I murmur.

"Eileen's kid? He seemed alright." My dad says.

"Well, he practically trailed after her and she turned against him. It wasn't even his fault and now she goes out with the boy who bullied him for six years." I explain.

"Ouch, that doesn't sound too good." My father murmurs.

"I can't believe Dumbledore is promoting a girl like that." I mutter. My father sighs.

"Let it go, just focus on your own schoolwork. Maybe this will give you more free-time to write to your mother anyway." My father says. I look at him sharply.

"What?" He asks. "You know she'd love to hear from you."

"And you know I will love to hear from her when she returns. Goodbye, Dad." I snap.

"Saff, you can't ignore her. What she did was wrong and she knows that, but she'll be back soon and until then she would love a letter from her daughter." My Dad says. I think for a long moment before looking at the open door.

"I have to go," I say, "I'll write to you when I settle in."

"Okay fine," He says, giving up, "See you, darling."

As I leave the house, I approach Lily's car and get into the backseat.

"So how did you get into the Wizarding World in a muggle car?" I ask.

"It's James' parents car. James is getting a lift of Sirius so he leant my parents this car because it has a Transporter. It's like a gear which can direct you to the Wizarding World." Lily says.

"I know what a transporter is." I say, without any emotion.

"So Elle tells me you're a Slytherin Pureblood," Lily remarks, as I put on a seat-belt, "What does your Dad do? I mean, he's at home on a Tuesday so I was curious." I restrain my anger and sit down in the car at the end of the seating row next to her and Elle. Elle, who is next to me, holds my hand for comfort but I pull away.

"He paints portraits for Hogwarts most of the time but sometimes commissions," I say, "He's an artist."

"That's interesting," Lily says, "It's just…well Severus mentioned you a few times. He said a few things I was curious about." I clench my fist harder.

"Like what?" I snap. Lily shrugs and looks out the window.

"Apparently the entire Myler family are death-eaters."

There's a long, eerie silence until I reply.

"He was," I say honestly, "But he gave it up for my mother." I feel my eyes water and I look out the window and blink softly.

"I didn't know you could just 'give up' like that," Lily murmurs, "Fascinating."

"Lily…" Elle murmurs.

"And I suppose he just washed off the dark-mark then?" Lily asks. I feel my anger soar.

"He never got the dark-mark. He was a friend of Tom Riddle's before he became you-know-who. He left the group when Riddle started branding people for life because he met my mother and wanted her to be safe." I respond, my voice cracking a little. It seems Lily's parents have no clue what we're talking about from the front seat, so they both just talk to one another animatedly. Lily looks at me sceptically and I look away.

"And what does your mother do?" Lily asks.

"She…she doesn't work, does she Saffron?" Elle murmurs. I nod.

"Yeah. That's it. Doesn't work." I say, quietly, gazing out the window again.

After that, Lily starts talking about James to Elle and at that point I drown out in the sound of the rain that starts beating against the window.

I feel my heart sink as my dream comes back to me.

_CRUCIO CRUCIO CRUCIO CRUCIO_

I run my finger along the fog in the window and spell the word out, hoping to remove it from my mind.

Because my mother is not unemployed.

She's in Azkaban.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sorry if this chapter has been posted twice; it was deleted because my friend was on my account so I had to repost it=/**

**In These Moments**

Saffron Myler returns to Hogwarts with the intention of focusing on her NEWTS, spending weekends in Hogsmeade and maybe even gate-crashing some parties with her friends. Even though she has the darkest of secrets, she's desperately hoping to find some normalcy during her final school year. Unfortunately, normality seems to be something out of her control – and a scarred Gryffindor seems to be having a similar problem. Marauders era.

Chapter 2.

We make it to the train station by five. It's jam-packed with muggles, as usual, and I can hear other people complaining about them too. The funny thing about muggles is that they haven't ever been suspicious of large crowds of teenagers and their parents carrying owl cages through the station, and by the time Lily, Elle and I have made our way onto the platform it's rather unbelievable that no-one noticed any of us running into a wall. That will never cease to amaze me.

While we're on the platform, I see a couple of people from my classes and I scrunch my nose a little at Melissa Parkinson and Narcissa Black. They're both talking avidly with their boyfriends and I notice Lucius give me a slow, lacklustre wave and I give him one back. He looks utterly uninterested with whatever his girlfriend is discussing with him so eagerly. Severus also looks completely bored with everything around him which is amusing because he looks incredibly suicidal having Melissa talk his ears off, probably about her hair. When she spots me she shakes her head and gives me a dirty look. I smirk a little before turning back to the two girls besides me.

"Are they _your _friends, Myler?" Lily asks. Her arms are crossed and her tawny owl is squealing from its cage. Elle gives Lily a long look before sighing.

"Come on Lily, give her a break. It's not her fault they're in her house." Elle says, looking fed-up with Lily's utter distaste for the aspiring death-eaters who waved at me.

"They're tolerable, I guess, but only the guys. The girls all hate me, really." I say, plainly, shrugging. "I should probably go over and say hi to Severus, though."

"Why can't he come over here? Afraid to be seen with muggleborns?" Lily questions.

"What _is_ your problem?" I snap, utterly fed-up. Lily rolls her eyes.

"My problem is people who think it's amusing to torture and kill other people and judge people on blood status, that's my problem." Lily replies. I clench my fists.

"For your information, Elle is my best-friend and she's a muggleborn herself. Also, aren't you judging me right now for having friends that are Slytherins and being a Slytherin myself? Isn't that contradictive?" I question, with a mocking laugh. Lily narrows her eyes before spotting someone behind me before she can reply.

"Myler." A languid, deep voice speaks my name from behind me and turning around abruptly after watching Lily's face pale I come face to face with Severus Snape.

"Oh, hi Severus," I say, grinning at the satisfaction of the situation, "Good summer?"

"_Un_productive." He says in his smooth drawl, before noticing Lily. Elle and I look between the two awkwardly and I smirk.

"Lily, you know Severus don't you?" I question, innocently. Lily's eyes aren't narrowed anymore and I can't really tell what she's thinking until she takes a deep breath.

"No," She says, "I don't really know who he is, exactly, anymore."

Cue awkward silence…

"Riiiiight then," Elle says, "Um, can we help you Snape?" Severus' eyes are fixed on Lily's and I begin to feel rather uncomfortable until the dark-haired boy turns to look at me.

"Yes. Myler, Lucius wants to know whether you're coming to the prefect meeting tonight at nine by the Library after the feast." Severus informs, boredly. I raise a brow.

"Why couldn't his highness ask me that himself? And yes, I am." I respond, questioningly.

"He didn't want to associate with…well…" He looks over Elle and his gaze hesitates on Lily, causing him to leave his sentence unfinished, "Anyway, I'm going now. See you at school." Severus says, in monotone.

"Okay… bye…" I say, but he's already walking off.

"That was…weird. And rude." Elle says, plainly. Lily is looking at the ground and I still can't tell what she's thinking. I hope she feels some remorse by seeing Severus and hope that will teach her a lesson in manners.

"You _do_ know why he came over?" I say to Lily, rolling my eyes. The redhead looks up and gives me a curious glance.

"Why?" She says, in a clipped tone. I sigh, frustrated.

"The only reason he came over here was because you were over here! I organised that prefect meeting myself, that was just a stupid cover. He's just…testing his luck I guess, probably just trying to get closer to you again." I explain, perceptively. The girl rolls her green eyes and gives a sharp 'ha.'

"Please," She says, "He does not want to be friends again."

"Yeah, well, at least he's trying." I snap, "Can_ you_ say the same?" That shuts her up.

"Are we going to get on the train at all today?" Elle moans. "And if we do, you two need to end this bickering. I mean, why don't you like each other anyway?"

"I don't dislike her." Lily says. I hate it when people talk about me in third person but let it go. Elle gives Lily a patronising stare.

"Okay…" Lily admits, "I suppose…when I found out you were close with Severus I was a bit…put-off."

"But why?" I ask, "You two were best friends until you ruined his life."

"I ruined _his_ life?!" Lily exclaims, "Is that what he told you? He called me a mudblood!"

"You called him a death-eater." I respond, quickly. Lily opens her mouth and then closes it again, looking furious.

"Look, both of you just stop! Just shake hands, kiss, make-up… whatever the fuck kids do these days when they aren't friends, or I will put you in separate compartments and dictate your every sentence until you are civil. Okay?" Elle exclaims. A couple of people look over at us curiously, and I smirk a little at Elle's dominant tone.

"Okay." I say, but I still hate the redhead a little in the back of my head…

"…Fine," Lily says, "But it's not me you have to be friends with. Elle and I are getting a compartment with James and his friends." I look at Elle with a deadly glare.

"Are you joking?!" I snap, "When did you feel like telling me we'd be sharing a compartment with the bloody Marauders?!"

"Oh come on Saff, they're not that bad." Elle says, "You said yourself you wanted the two of us to expand our friendship circles this year."

"Yes, Elle, but _they_ have absolutely no intention of being friends with me whatsoever." I reply.

"Well, if_ you're _the one to make the effort then you'll look like the most sensible one then won't you?" Lily says, fairly. I blink in astonishment. That has to have been the nicest tone she's used with me all day.

"Severus will kill me…" I mutter. Elle rolls her eyes and Lily sighs.

"Oh come oooon, being best friends with me has already killed your reputation as a Slytherin, hasn't it?" Elle teases. I roll my eyes.

"Fine. But the moment they accuse me of slaughtering muggles, I'm out." I respond dryly.

We head onto the train in silence after that, loading our trunks up underneath the windows. Once we're on, several first-years rush past us.

I see some Slytherin girls from my classes who glare at me for being with two muggle-born students and all the purebloods seem to be dressed in the finest emerald satin clothes and designer shoes. I feel a little uncomfortable being the only Slytherin who enjoys wearing colours other than green. My current ensemble is a pair of trainers, some navy jeans and a cream-coloured blouse. I feel my cheeks blush as I become uncomfortable by the amount of Slytherins who seem to not tolerate me at all and make it evident through their hauntingly dark stares. Looking down, I continue walking.

After an excruciating amount of seconds, we make it to the Gryffindor areas of the compartments and instead of sneaky, menacing hisses from the Slytherins we hear banter and laughter from teenagers clad in yellows and reds.

"Saffron why were they all glaring at you?" Lily asks, sounding honestly sympathetic, and I can't believe she's actually speaking to me by my first name. I look at Elle who gives me an assuring smile and then back to Lily before replying.

"I'm not afraid to show them that I'm friends with a muggle-born, I guess." I say, "I don't usually get on with Gryffindors because they've always had nothing but immature insults to fling at me and my family but I seem to get on well with muggle-borns. I guess that's what those Slytherins can't understand." I explain.

"And…why are muggle-borns easier to get along with in your case?" Lily asks, curiously.

"Well, before Severus told you about me, did my last name mean anything to you, Lily?" I murmur.

"…No. I'd never even heard of you." Lily says, clearly.

"Exactly. Most Gryffindors with magical families know that most of my family are death-eaters. But muggle-borns don't really know much about pureblood families so they don't judge me the moment I meet them. Well…_most _of them don't anyway." I emphasis my last point, making Lily look at the ground, a little put-out.

"Oh. I see. So you are related to death-eaters then? Ones that are branded?" Lily asks, a little anxious.

"…Yes. But I rarely ever speak to them." I say, calmly. "Anyway, where is this compartment?"

"Over there!" Elle points, excitedly, lightening up the mood. "Oh my god! KENT WOOD IS IN THERE TOO! Okay, I need to breathe…come on, Elle_ breathe_…"

Laughing, Lily and I watch the black-haired beauty in front of us run her fingers through her hair and pinch her cheeks for the desired effect. From outside the compartment I see James Potter and Peter Pettigrew talking to Wood about something which I'm sure has to be Quiddich from their hand gestures and Sirius Black seems to be laughing with a girl I know to be called Alice. At the sight of Sirius I cower a little behind Elle, and at the end of the compartment I see…Remus Lupin.

And he's reading.

With a very sexy look of concentration.

…

I seriously need to re-evaluate myself. I mean, he's a Gryffindor and he will hate me when he knows I am related to death-eaters. Right?

But Lily actually understood once I explained everything, though... Maybe Remus would too…what am I thinking? He's friends with the Marauders, of course he won't get it…he's just too polite to everyone…

"Hello Ladies! Looking fiiine as usual!" Sirius Black greets with a beaming white smile as he gives Lily and Elle a look over. Lily goes to sit by James and Elle by Wood. I sit next to Elle awkwardly until Sirius spots me.

My life is over.

"Wait…what the hell? _Myler's_ part of the group now?" Sirius exclaims, eyes narrowed. James, Peter and Kent look over with narrowed eyes and I notice Alice bite her lip anxiously. I don't dare look at Remus in worry I might start crying if he starts glaring along with his friends. Somehow, I manage to muster a reply.

"Um…hi."

Wow.

Look at how cool I am.

"Why is she in our compartment?" James asks Lily.

"God, you really are a killjoy sometimes Evans, you and your death-eater soft-spot…" Sirius whines. I can actually feel Remus' eyes on me from the corner of my eye and I try to refrain from letting my eyes water but I know my cheeks are probably bright red anyway so they can probably tell how humiliated I feel.

Lily gives me a consoling look before hitting James over the head.

"She's my best friend, actually," Elle snaps, with narrowed eyes, "If you have a problem with her you have a problem with me."

Sirius blinks, astonished.

"Wait, hold on…a member of the Myler family is best friends with a muggle-born? How have I only just discovered this? How's your Dad handling that then, Myler?" Sirius torments, loudly. I cringe.

"Oh for the love of fuck will you give it a rest Sirius?" Elle says. "The Slytherins don't like her. Give her a break. Saff, don't listen to Sirius, he's a twat." Sirius glares but says nothing in response.

"But she's pretty cosy with Snivellus, isn't she Lily?" James asks. Lily looks to the window.

"They're just friends, James. Besides, she's also best friends with one of the nicest Hufflepuff beaters in the school. So maybe you should stop making assumptions." Lily says, softly. Sirius bursts out laughing before Elle can thank the redhead for the compliment. I just sit there, eyes flickering between the lot of them, wondering whether I should speak up but it just doesn't seem at all worth it, to be honest.

"Oh, so I have to sit here and pretend to not be uncomfortable?" Sirius says, "I don't think so. Come on James, Peter, Remus …let's go. I don't care where but I'm _not_ sharing a compartment with a Myler."

"You can't be serious?" Remus speaks up softly for the first time and I give him a look of shock. "Come on, mate, it's only a train journey."

"Yes, Moony, a _three-hour_ train journey." Sirius responds. Wait, Moony? Remus is a Marauder? That's his nickname? I don't know whether to laugh right now or to cry. This whole thing is so messed up.

"Look, maybe I should just leave myself if it's such a problem." I suggest, throwing my hands up in surrender and picking up my backpack. Sirius gives a slow, mocking clap.

"Well, look at that! She actually has some sense in her! Yeah, that would be easier for all of us, I reckon. Maybe throw yourself out the window, too." Sirius says, with a grin. Everyone is quiet for a moment and I can see Peter trying to suppress laughter which just makes me even angrier.

"Fine. Maybe I will. I'd rather do that than listen to your stupid voice." I say, barely a whisper.

"No don't go Saff! It's not far you should leave! I'm leaving then as well!" Elle exclaims, prepared to stand. I shake my head at her because I know how much she's been wanting to talk to Kent since they last saw each other.

"No, it's fine Elle. I actually need to go talk to my cousin." I say. That's a lie. My cousin is a prat. He's a sixth year whose best friends with Sirius' brother, Regulus. And, like all Mylers, is a Slytherin. A Slytherin with a bad reputation and a bad attitude, and somehow I've been given the task to look after him.

"Yeah, go mingle with ya death-eater family, wench. Have fun torturing first years."

_Torture._

That word makes my stomach turn and I'm absolutely frozen for a moment.

Torture…Crucio….Crucio…Unforgivable….Azkaban…_Mum…_

Before I say anything else to anyone, I rush out of the compartment and slam the door behind me. No-one says anything as I leave, and I hope to God the train crashes just so Sirius Black can die.

I feel tears well up in my eyes when I run down the train corridor and practically fall into an empty compartment. I throw my backpack down and put my hands to my face, trying not to cry.

_CRUCIO CRUCIO CRUCIO_

For a second I feel like I'm going to be sick or pass out, until I hear a knock at the door and look up. I brush my hair from my face and wipe my eyes, trying to calm my breathing.

"Hey, Saffron." A calm voice says, "Can I come in?" Remus Lupin has opened the compartment door is looking at me with a steady gaze. I try to put the fact that he is incredibly handsome out of my mind and gesture for him to take a seat. He's holding a book under his arm and gives a small smile. He looks at me seriously when he notices my mascara is smudged.

"I can't believe what happened back there. I just wanted to check to see if you're okay. It can't be easy having a stigma attached to you like that." Remus says. I give him a look of pure shock.

"Did…Did they put you up to this? To fake sympathy and hope I reveal some secrets you can all laugh about later with the other Gryffindorks?!" I snap, unable to believe he is being so nice. Remus is emotionless for a moment, and it gives me a moment to notice scars across his face which are usually hidden by the the creases of his smile.

"No," He says, calmly, "I'm here on my own accord. I thought you might need this - Sirius has a knack for making girls cry." He holds out a tissue which I take after a moment of hesitation.

"Thanks." I say, "But I'm fine. You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

"It's fine. Really. I know how it feels to belong to a name which has a bad reputation." Remus says. I give him an odd look, but I'm too tired to inquire about what he means.

"Why are you friends with them?" I snap, "They're animals. And you're, well, you seem actually _humane."_

Remus lets out a laugh after a moment and I wonder for a second if what I've said is funny. I raise a brow.

"I guess you could say that," He says, "But they just find it difficult to understand others. They have no empathy, only for themselves."

"Too right." I say, wiping away some flecks of make-up and tears onto my tissue. I smile a little at the tissue in my hand because Remus has given it me, but I soon realise how pathetically sad that is and scrunch it into my pocket.

"So what book are you reading?" I ask, noticing Remus' novel. The boy's eyes alight at the word book and I realise I've met someone as bookwormish as me.

"Oh! It's um, a muggle book. I know that sounds odd, but it's actually really good." He says, kindly, "It's The Bloody Chamber, by Angela Carter."

I feel myself smile without knowing it.

"I love Angela Carter!" I say, a little too enthusiastically, making him grin, "I've not read the Bloody Chamber but I've read The Company of Wolves."

"That's the book that lead me to this one," He says, waving it in the air, "I thought that book was great so I had a look at some of her other stuff. What book are you reading at the moment? Assuming you're a bookworm since we did officially meet at Bookworms." He laughs. I smile.

"Well I was reading The Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway. It's an American muggle writer. I've read A Farewell to Arms by him and thought I'd check out some other stuff, too." I say. "But I finished it this morning so I'm not sure what I want to read next."

Remus smiles and looks thoughtful for a second.

"Well, I finished this in the compartment earlier, it's only a short story but there are some other tales in here too," He says, before holding out the book, "Would you like to borrow it?"

I take in what he's just said with wide eyes.

"Um…I suppose so. I mean, if you're sure?" I say. He nods.

"Only if I can borrow The Old Man and the Sea. I've been meaning to read Hemingway." He says, conditionally. I chuckle and unzip my backpack.

"Sure. Well I have a ton of books in my trunk so if…if you ever run out I guess you could, um, borrow some more…?" I murmur, before I know what I'm saying. I hand Remus the book and he hands me his.

"That sounds great, actually. I've not met anyone else who reads muggle Literature. I never thought it would be a Slytherin, either." He says. I sigh.

"You…you don't care about that do you?" I ask, meekly. He shakes his head.

"No. Everyone values different qualities in themselves. You value ambition and I value…being friends with complete twits, I guess." Remus laughs. I laugh too. "I mean, do you have a problem with me being a Gryffindor?"

Hmmm.

Well…

"No," I say, before biting my lip, "Weeeell…I _did_, I'll be honest. I thought you'd be just like Black once you got to know me…actually I thought all Gryffindors were like him, to be honest. I don't really like that you're friends with him, but it's your life, I guess." Remus nods.

"I understand," He says, "I heard you're not on good terms with people in your house. Why is that?" I let out a long exhale and shrug my shoulders.

"Well, my father's family are mostly working for…_you-know-who_, but my father doesn't. My father betrayed you-know-who by resigning from the group before he gained power so not many Slytherins think of me very highly." I explain.

"I thought you couldn't get out of being a death-eater?" Remus asks.

"You can't." I state, "But he was friends with you-know-who before he started branding people. When you're branded, you're in it for life, but my Dad managed to get out before he got the dark-mark."

"But if he wasn't technically a real death-eater then it's not exactly betrayal, is it?" Remus says. I nod.

"I personally don't think so, but you know how devoted Slytherins are. The boys are okay with me, like Severus, but the girls are just…spiteful." I say. Remus chuckles.

"Yes, I have to say I find it interesting you and Snape are friends. How exactly did that occur?" Remus asks.

"Well, Elle's my best-friend and she's a muggle-born, and she's been my best-friend since first year. Severus was best friends with Lily, so he understood my situation really well. I was there for him when he fell out with Lily, too, but over summer…I think he changed. He didn't write to me at all, and I don't know if he's going to be as close to me this year now he's close to Mulciber and Avery. When him and Lily practically broke-up, he became much more closed off and….well, much more _Slytherin." _ I explain. Remus nods in understanding.

"It sounded tough on him, the whole thing, and it didn't help he was picked on by James and Sirius either," Remus says, "I think I'll always regret not stepping in."

"Don't regret it," I say, "Just learn from it."

Remus smiles softly before letting out a small chuckle.

"You know, you've really changed my mind about Slytherins. I hope I've managed to change your mind on Gryffindors, a little." Remus says. I smirk.

"Well, glad to help you with your understanding. Ha-ha, well I still haven't figured out why you're being so nice, but I suppose I can be…a little more tolerable of your house now. I suppose I will have to keep you close anyway, since you're my competitor in Ancient Runes. I must learn your weaknesses." I reply, dead serious. Remus rolls his eyes.

"I have no weaknesses," He says, plainly, "Only strengths."

"Who said that?" I laugh.

"…James." He replies, finally laughing and cracking the mock-serious exterior. I smile.

Suddenly, there's another knock on the compartment door and I see Elle looking at me sympathetically.

Opening the door in a hurry, she walks in and pounces on me, hugging me tightly.

"Elle, what the heck are you doing to me?!" I exclaim, laughing.

"I can't believe how mean Sirius was and I wanted to come and see you right away but then Kent started taaaalking and I got lost in his eyes and he offered me a chocolate frog and I smiled and he smiled and he's so hot when he smiles and we talked and laughed and oh my god I'm sorry but I'm here now so it's all okay, right?!" Elle exclaims. Remus and I just look at her, utterly confused, until she lets out a breath and takes a seat.

"Oh…did I interrupt something?" Elle says. I see Remus blush and chuckle.

"No," I say, honestly, "Just talking about…what happened back there."

"It was pretty harsh." Lily Evans' voice greets me from the door frame. I look up and she gives me a sympathetic smile before sitting down. "Are you okay?"

"I…could be better," I mutter, "But thanks." I return the smile a little bleakly and Lily sits beside Remus, opposite me and Elle.

"God, Sirius is such a bloody prick!" Elle exclaims. Lily nods in agreement.

"Yeah, he was pretty horrible. I mean, I think he just assumed you were like your cousin." Lily explains. I groan and Remus cocks an eyebrow.

"Who's your cousin?" Remus asks.

"Eben Myler." Elle and I say in unison. Remus' eyes widen and I frown.

"Isn't he the sixth year that was suspended for hexing a muggle-born teacher?" Remus asks. I nod, sadly. Lily looks fuming.

"I can't believe they didn't expel him! The boy is a sociopathic maniac and somehow managed to get his crazy aunt to buy his way back in to school!" Lily says, before noticing me, "I mean…no offence."

"None taken," I admit, "He knows I think he's a prat. And his mother is just as bad."

"He's always hanging around with Sirius' brother, Regulus, and apparently Sirius' parents are making Sirius' old room Eben's room for when he stays over." Lily explains. I feel my eyes go wide.

"So is that why Sirius hates me? He thinks I'm just as insane as my stupid cousin?" I question.

"I think because one Myler has already taken his place in his own house he's worried you might have it in for him as well if you join the group, I suppose." Lily adds.

"But that's ridiculous. Why would I have it in for him? I mean, he is a twat but I _honestly_ do have better things to do…" I say, exhaling a long, exasperated breath.

"At least you have us three. And I'm sure James and Kent will come around if Lily and I talk to them." Elle says.

"And if James comes around then Sirius will eventually, and Peter would obviously have to if Sirius did. Plus, Alice really likes you. She's just really shy." Lily says. Remus gives me a comforting smile, as though he can tell I'm still uncertain.

"Don't worry about it," Remus says, "You can be friends with whoever you want. You don't need to listen to Sirius, he's just pent up with anger from his own relationships with his family."

I look between all three of the hopeful students around me and I can't help but smile.

"You know," Elle begins, "I think that whether this year is bad or good, none of us will forget it. I'm serious. I feel like shit will go _down_ this year."

All four of us laugh at the girl's predictions and I look at her peculiarly.

"And I was reading Sirius' aura and it was cherry-red!" Elle says. We all look at her, confused before she explains. "…That means he's sexually-frustrated."

Making us laugh even more, Lily gives Elle a look of shock.

"You can read auras now?" Lily asks.

"Yep. Africa taught me well." Elle explains.

The whole journey seems to fly by after that. Lily, Elle, Remus and I manage to get on really well. In the three hours we talk, Lily tells me all about her sister and how awful her summer was when she brought home James. Apparently her sister had an argument with him and he set her hair on fire and then she threw a plate at him after having to put her head in the goldfish bowl.

Elle tells us all about our escapades in Africa and how much she loved it, still refusing to unveil my birthday present. Remus and I mostly just sit and listen since he told me he didn't do anything all summer. I told him I was the same, so we just talk about books, music and what we want to do in the future. I tell him I want to write books but be a teacher of Ancient Runes as well. He tells me he'd love to become an Auror and he'd be the first to read my books if I wrote them.

I have to say, it wasn't as awkward a journey as I assumed it would be and so much changed in those three hours that I can't quite believe. When the journey ends we all groan at the idea of the long, dreary welcoming assembly and collect our backpacks before heading out the compartment.

"Burgh, I forgot the book you leant me Remus!" I exclaim while we're by the door.

"You do have an amazingly bad memory when it comes to your things," Remus states, jokingly, as the crowds flood to the door.

"Hurry up then Saff! We'll meet you on the platform!" Elle calls, through the masses. I nod and push through the crowds and head back to the compartment.

"Urgh, so damn _forgetful_…" I reach the compartment and thankfully the book is there. Snatching it quickly and clutching it tight, I walk back through the now deserted corridor of the train when someone grabs my arm and pulls me roughly around.

"What the hsuojdh—" I feel my head hit the back of the wall making me cough instead of finish my sentence and looking up I see Sirius Black in front of me. He's looking at the book in my hands and is glaring at it.

"That's Remus' book, Myler." Sirius snaps. "What did you do, steal it?"

"He leant it to me you imbicile!" I snap, "Get your hands off me, for Merlin's sake!"

"You know," Sirius says, releasing his grip a little, "I don't think Remus knows about your Mum spending her days in Azkaban. What did she do again…the Cruciatus curse, was it?"

I look at the boy in front of me with complete dread. I feel my stomach churn.

"You…you can't tell Remus that!" I exclaim.

"Why? Got a soft-spot?" Sirius torments. "I must say, I'm surprised it wasn't your Dad. To say he apparently gave up dark magic for her she didn't half throw it back in his face. Why did she use an unforgivable on a muggle, by the way?" I bite my lip to stop myself lashing out, refusing to answer.

"I know all about your psychotic mother and all about your father doing odd jobs for you-know-who just to stay alive. I know all about you, Saffron Delia Myler." Sirius says. I feel sick the more I listen to his voice.

"What are you talking about?" I snap, "My father's an artist. He doesn't work for you-know-who anymore!"

"Oh, is that what he told you?" Sirius mocks, shaking his head. He releases my wrists from his hands when the train bell tolls for us to leave.

"Know this, Myler. If you're just playing around trying to infiltrate this group like the snake you are, you'll be sorry. If you hurt Remus I'll tell him and everyone at Hogwarts all the dirt my family has on yours. Got it?" Sirius says. Slowly I nod, but I still have no idea what he's talking about concerning my father.

When we get off the train I feel light-headed, and I have no idea how I'm going to cope writing to my dad after being told something like that. Sirius disappears out of sight by the time I see Remus.

"You okay, Saffron?" Remus asks. I notice Lily and Elle have left and I raise a brow.

"Yeah. Where's the others?" I ask.

"They went off with James and Kent. For some reason they thought we'd prefer walking back together." Remus says, with a look of innocent embarrassment. I let out a small laugh but feel my cheeks go red slightly and my stomach settle. There's something about him that seems to calm me down but at the same time make me feel almost euphoric whenever he looks at me – as Elle would call it 'positive energy.'

"Okay then," I say, with a slow smile, "Let's head back."

We walk and talk and through-out the conversation I can't help but recall Sirius' words.

_Psychopathic mother…father doing odd jobs for you-know-who…tell Remus…tell everyone…_

Elle is right. Whatever happens this year – good or bad – I know I won't forget it.

**Thank you for everyone who's following this story. I promise to respond to reviewers at the bottom of each chapter. Please review, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks c:**


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